It's been 10 days since I have actually started revisiting my 1st year books on the pretext of the coming screening exams. Last 9 days were all fine and encouraging for my Maa but this morning- you should have seen that!!! She was outraged... According to her, my books were "ALL OVER THE PLACE!" (I'm still not able to accept the fact that is it even possible?!) So in the process of cleaning up the room and making my books at one place instead of "All Over", I needed space since existing book shelves are already full. So I was instructed to make space in the one where my late father's books were kept. And She left for office after assigning me this painful task.
I know, after a year and 4 months this shouldn't be "painful" for me at all. But believe you me, it was still as tough as it would've been a year back. It was like I was actually invading his space. I was invading my Father's space! It still belongs to him, everything in there still has a copyright of Mr. Prafulla Chaturvedi. And getting rid of things from it was seeming a crime to me. I was sitting there, in front of the open book shelf, staring at it hopelessly. I had a smile on my face and tears in my eyes simultaneously...
Sitting there clueless, I don't know what hit me and I realised that at some point I have to do this. Make some space there... (and here too...). Eventually, the book shelf has to be made a little space in! "It can be like this forever, but it wont help!", as my best friend always says. So finally, with a heavy heart, I got back on my feet and started disturbing my Papa's space to make some for myself!
I did do it. I made space in that book shelf. I spaced it up by getting rid of the dust that got collected, by my childhood drawing books that he treasured, the photos of mine and Bhai's childhood-that were his fond memories. And I made some huge space by taking "The Treasure Chest" out of there...
Do you wanna know about that Treasure Chest?
Well, here you go! It's my Papa's diary. Yes, the diary that is still alive with his handwriting, still very much rich with his words. And, I know I'm not that good and even close to my Papa's work as a writer but today I realised from where I inherited this little talent that I behold- from my Papa! This diary, that initially I was hesitant to even open. But later, I recollected my Papa telling me about it. That he wrote poems about a few things and for a few people but never really bragged them! So, I dared barge in and I found all these poems.
As I said, he never bragged them. So, I guess I have the privilege of sharing the legacy. I will be posting some of his lines and I hope he is appreciated post-humus...
I know, after a year and 4 months this shouldn't be "painful" for me at all. But believe you me, it was still as tough as it would've been a year back. It was like I was actually invading his space. I was invading my Father's space! It still belongs to him, everything in there still has a copyright of Mr. Prafulla Chaturvedi. And getting rid of things from it was seeming a crime to me. I was sitting there, in front of the open book shelf, staring at it hopelessly. I had a smile on my face and tears in my eyes simultaneously...
Sitting there clueless, I don't know what hit me and I realised that at some point I have to do this. Make some space there... (and here too...). Eventually, the book shelf has to be made a little space in! "It can be like this forever, but it wont help!", as my best friend always says. So finally, with a heavy heart, I got back on my feet and started disturbing my Papa's space to make some for myself!
I did do it. I made space in that book shelf. I spaced it up by getting rid of the dust that got collected, by my childhood drawing books that he treasured, the photos of mine and Bhai's childhood-that were his fond memories. And I made some huge space by taking "The Treasure Chest" out of there...
Do you wanna know about that Treasure Chest?
Well, here you go! It's my Papa's diary. Yes, the diary that is still alive with his handwriting, still very much rich with his words. And, I know I'm not that good and even close to my Papa's work as a writer but today I realised from where I inherited this little talent that I behold- from my Papa! This diary, that initially I was hesitant to even open. But later, I recollected my Papa telling me about it. That he wrote poems about a few things and for a few people but never really bragged them! So, I dared barge in and I found all these poems.
As I said, he never bragged them. So, I guess I have the privilege of sharing the legacy. I will be posting some of his lines and I hope he is appreciated post-humus...
super lyk.... i knw if ur mom read this she will hv tears in her eyes... god bless u...
ReplyDeleteHey Anshuman... Thanks for understanding the sentiment. And I will try and keep Maa away from this (as I'm taking your advice)
ReplyDeleteI hope you like his works that i will be publlishing.
Indeed!"It can be like this forever, but it wont help!" After Rajjo bua, we all felt the same. Its a tough job, i can totally understand what you are going through. Year by year we are trying to let go of the things that are of no use as small as her combs etc.
ReplyDeleteYou are lucky to find the hidden treasure! :) That's how his words were destined to flow to the rest of the world through his lovely daughter.
I am all ears/eyes!
Ya, may be that's what destiny and Papa want. That I carry forward the legacy! So I'm gonna do that. And I dunno if I'll get the courage to get rid of his things cz his spec is still kept at the same place as he used to keep it! And I make sure I clean it everyday. Weird, but I think I can say goodbye yet!
ReplyDelete